Grief and Grieving

(Adapted from an article by Tim Clinton/George Ohlschlager)

From intense mental anguish to acute sorrow and deep remorse, grief is a unique human suffering. It is described as an amputation of the heart, a never-ending pain that reaches to the marrow of one’s soul, a sorrow that leaves no part of the bereaved life untouched. While grieving is unavoidable, healing in and through grief is what a compassionate God intends. As Christians, we must learn how to grieve. The shortest and one of the most powerful verses in the Bible – “Jesus wept.” John 11:35 – reveals that Jesus grieved.

Too many of us, however, hang on to various myths that block the healing process that God intended. Let’s expose some of these myths:

Myth #1: Don’t grieve. An especially harmful belief is that God doesn’t want us to grieve or has saved us so we might avoid grievous suffering. We are led to believe that it’s morbid or even offensive to sorrow in loss or to talk about death. Although few people say it directly, many tend to think that we are to simply let go and move on quickly. This is contrary to our God-given need to express our emotions, and when we fail to do this, it causes further stress.

Myth #2: Grief harms our faith. Another lie is that grieving and working through the loss of a loved one damages our Christian testimony and diminishes our faith. Some falsely believe that they must always be strong or at least look strong. Quite the contrary, sharing with and giving our heartache to the Lord will build a deeper, sweeter, and more intimate relationship with Him. Our weakness becomes His strength (Philippians 4:13). Honest grieving that seeks and leans on God nearly always helps our faith grow as we depend on Him to heal our brokenness.

Myth #3: Always be positive. Another Christian myth is that we should only express joy and positive emotions.  However, who better than our Father in heaven knows the anguish of losing a loved one. Jesus, Himself, was prophetically revealed as ‘a man of sorrows and familiar with suffering’ (Isaiah 53:3).

Myth #4: God is absent. At times, some feel they experience God’s silence as it seems heaven’s door is slammed shut during a time of loss. Other individuals report a stronger sense of God’s presence following their loved one’s death. What can this mean? Why does God seem present at one time and absent in another?  This clearly reveals that the grieving process – a lamentation of the soul – is as unique and individual as the person experiencing it.

At Central, we offer several support resources available during a time of grief and loss. These include individual counseling, PATH, Growing Seasons, and Celebrate Recovery. We are ready to minister to you, a friend, or a loved one in a time of loss.

Bill Bellican, Director

Pastoral Counseling

The Big Squeeze: Standing Firm in the Midst of Life’s Storms

We all face trials, troubles, and tribulations! Difficult circumstances are here to stay. You are either in the middle of a storm, have just come through one, or are preparing for the next. Though most of us can agree that difficult circumstances are a constant part of life, it seems that most of us are unprepared to handle the storms when they come. We might all face trials but not everyone handles them in the same way. Some seem to triumph through the troubles while others sink in the face of tragedy.

If trials are a constant part of everyone’s life, then we as Christians must be able to thrive in the midst of what is going on around us. How to handle difficult circumstances is a question that each of us need to be prepared for.

Beginning next Sunday and continuing through the five Sundays in November, we will be in a new series called The Big Squeeze; what do you do when life has put you in a box?

The Big Squeeze will be dealing with the following topics:

• Life’s overwhelming trials, troubles, and tragedies

• Relational conflict

• Morally declining culture and guilt

• Discontentment and a lack of true thanksgiving

• Busyness and the need for priorities

These topics apply to all of us and most all the time. I encourage you to personally make plans to be here for every message, as well as to invite a friend! As Christians, regardless of the nature of the trial or the intensity of the squeeze, we cannot only survive the storm but thrive in the midst of the storm.

Be encouraged with words from the famous song, The Anchor Holds:  The anchor holds Though the ship is battered The anchor holds Though the sails are torn I have fallen on my knees As I faced the raging seas The anchor holds In spite of the storm.

The anchor holds because God is faithful and Christ intercedes on our behalf!

For His Glory,

Pastor Ernie Frey

SERVOLUTION Opportunities: You and Your Church Partnering Together

“I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields!  They are ripe for harvest.” – John 4:35

The Servolution Series has encouraged every Christian to be intentional in moving into people’s lives!   Jesus reminds us in the above verse that people are needy and ready for a spiritual harvest.  There is a great opportunity for each of us to get connected to others by serving their needs. 

Central Church wants to partner with you as you build relationships with people who either do not know Christ or are not currently plugged into a local church.  As a church, we want to be a resource that you can use to deepen the relationships you are intentionally building.

Here are some on-going and upcoming opportunities that are waiting for an invitation:

• Weekly 9:25 and 11:00 Sunday Services – Every Sunday at Central is a Bring-a-Friend Sunday.  Our experiential, Christ-centered services provide an opportunity for both the saved and the lost to witness the life-changing truth of Christ, as well as His supernatural community called the church.
•  “The Big Squeeze” – A New Sermon Series in November – In my lifetime, there has never been a time where more people are experiencing such a wide variety of life pressures and challenges.  Every person is thoroughly acquainted with a host of overwhelming circumstances.  This five Sunday series is a great opportunity to hear the hope of Christ regardless of the size of the trials!
• KidzCentral and Parenting Night – On Wednesday, November 4, we have two family-oriented events that are powerful opportunities for invitation.  The night begins with the KidzCentral family worship experience from 6:00-6:50, followed by a practical and biblical parenting seminar from 7-8:30 entitled “Leading your Child in God’s World.”
• “A Christmas Dinner Theater” – Thursday and Friday, December 10 and 11, we will be having a great night of food, connection, and theater as we focus on Jesus’ entrance into the world and His impact on our lives.  Tickets are limited so make sure that you order in advance.

This might surprise you but so many people are waiting for an invitation – all they need is for you to ask them. 

May we be bold and have a blast as we move into the lives of the people that Jesus loves!

For Christ’s Harvest,

Pastor Ernie Frey

PEOPLE: The Bottom Line of Christianity

“I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for the harvest.” – John 4:35

What is the litmus test of Christianity? Unfortunately, the sub-culture of Christianity makes answering that question difficult. We have answered that pivotal question many different ways:

• Regular Sunday morning attendance at a church that has good programs.

• Listening to worship music in our car.

• Avoiding negative cultural influences in our life.

Don’t get me wrong; these are all good things – but is this really why Christ came and died?  What was Jesus’ bottom-line and overarching MO (modus operandi)? Jesus was all about PEOPLE and their eternal salvation. He came to bring everlasting life – life that would begin immediately and then carry over into eternity. He desired to start a movement of transformed people who would then live for the transformation of others.

That’s it pure and simple.

Therefore, “SOME THINGS IN LIFE ARE TOO IMPORTANT NOT TO SHARE.”

The practical question that we must face as Jesus’ disciples is, “Why aren’t we doing better at leading people to the Lord?” Tom Lindberg, a local pastor at First Assembly of God in Memphis, challenged his congregation with the following answers:

Perhaps it’s because…

#1 – We have HEART PROBLEMS. We don’t share the passion which our Lord Jesus had for people.

#2 – We have EYE PROBLEMS. We don’t see the true lostness of people all around us.

#3 – We have HEAD PROBLEMS. We don’t think about the future destiny of a person without Christ.

#4 – We have EAR PROBLEMS. We don’t hear the Spirit calling us to opportunities.

#5 – We have KNEE PROBLEMS. We don’t pray enough. We forget some things will only happen by prayer.

#6 – We have MOUTH PROBLEMS. We don’t speak often enough about our magnificent Savior. Remember, some things in life are too important not to share.

Jesus’ call is clear – may we answer the call with the entirety of our life.  May we GO FOR IT – lives are hanging in the balance!

Pastor Ernie H. Frey

Tips For Leading Friends to Christ

Though all of us may be called upon to give a witness to someone in a short period of time, the most frequent situation we should find ourselves in is helping friends to come to Christ. Here are five steps an unbeliever must go through to become a believer:

1) He or she must come to trust a believer. Very few people are going to listen to you tell them how to have a relationship with the living God if they don’t trust you first. Building a friendship is the most important first step you can take. Are you friends no matter what or only friends if they choose to believe what you believe?

2) He or she must develop a curiosity about Christ. You might be good friends but until the unbeliever knows you are a follower of Christ there will be no curiosity to know what it is that motivates you.  When the unbeliever does know you are a Christian, help stir up their curiosity about Christ. This should lead to questions you will find answers to, but don’t expect that the unbeliever is now ready to embrace the gospel.

3) He or she must be willing to radically alter his or her life. The gospel calls for radical life transformation.  People aren’t normally ready for this unless the hope they have put in earth-bound dreams are shattered. Pray for an openness to make a total turn around in life as a preparation for the gospel.

4) He or she must earnestly seek to find if the gospel is the truth. No longer just curious but now earnest about whether Jesus is the answer to life, the unbeliever is really ready to come to a point of decision.  This is a time of great wrestling.

5) He or she must commit his or her life to Christ in faith. The unbeliever must ultimately choose to trust Christ with his or her life. This is where they become a disciple of Jesus and begin the greatest life journey possible for a human being.

For more information on this process read I Once Was Lost, by Everts and Schaupp.

Randall Johnson

Director of Adult Education, Central Church

Deep Change: The Promise of Christianity

“If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the new has come and the old is gone.” – 2 Corinthians 5:17

The great promise that Christ makes is that we can become like Him! What other faith or religion promotes the fact that our attitudes and actions can be that of its founder! The term for our growth in Christ-likeness is called sanctification.  The sanctification process where change occurs in our hearts results in amazing spiritual metamorphosis over time. Several thoughts to consider about DEEP CHANGE:

• Does not happen automatically – requires us pursuing Christ and the things that promote growth like the Word of God, fellow Christians, and corporate worship.

• Does not happen evenly – certain circumstances in our lives initiate growth spurts.

• Does not happen individually – we cannot change ourselves but must cooperate with the Holy Spirit.

Have you ever wanted to make profound changes in your life? Any repetitive behavioral or attitudinal areas of your life that you would like to move away from? Praise God – Christ can help us move out of those areas and into a different spiritual dimension.

Several Habits to Keep the Deep Change Process Alive in Your Life:

• Regular reading of the Word of God – the Bible is alive – “living and active” and promotes life.

• Regular prayer – prayer is conversation with God, and we need a regular spiritual connection.

• Regular fellowship with other Christians who are growing – there is nothing more exciting than sharing with other believers who are making deep changes as well.

Several Ministries that will help with the Deep Change Process:

• For Women there are regular Bible Studies on a weekly basis both in the a.m. and p.m.

• For Marriages we have a fall marriage focus on Wednesday nights.

• For those struggling with a particular area of brokenness we have Celebrate Recovery on Thursday nights.

• For Men, Pastor Frey will be teaching a 5:45 Tuesday a.m. study entitled “Deep Change: Making a Difference in the Areas of a Man’s Life that Mean the Most” that studies the life of Nehemiah.

I gave my life to the ministry because I was amazed at what Christ had done in my own life and what He could do in the lives of others. There is nothing harder or more exciting than deep change.

Looking forward to the transformation,

Pastor Ernie H. Frey

Senior Pastor, Central Church (Collierville, TN)

The Power of One: The Difference One Life Can Make

“When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them.” – Jesus in Matthew 9:36

He never walked by a person without that person being special to Him – nobody was nameless or just part of the crowd – people mattered to Jesus and people knew that and were drawn to Him – He did not like to see people’s hurts go untended – He was the friend of sinners – His friends were all across the spectrum – those with the most checkered backgrounds adored Him and the elite were curious to pursue His favor – when He was in your midst you were the center of attention – the twelve were willing to lay down their lives on account of Him – He really and truly loved!

 JESUS MADE A DIFFERENCE IN PEOPLE’S LIVES!

Both past, present, and future history will reveal His impact on billions of followers!

You and I are the living presence and legacy of Jesus on the earth. Jesus’ mission of loving and serving people to Himself has been passed to the followers of Christ. We are the agents of Christ’s message and mission on the earth. To continue Christ’s onslaught of love we need to be reminded that IT ALL BEGINS WITH ONE. To make a difference begins with one life encountering another life.

We need to be reminded of several life-altering truths:

• People matter to Jesus – all kinds – not just the ones we are most comfortable with!
• People should and need to matter to us as well!
• Jesus made a difference in people’s lives because He met their greatest need.
• Jesus was consumed with the needs, hurts, and sins of others and focused His entire life into seeing those needs met.
• When Jesus loved it was not just with words but also with actions.

What would happen if. . . we lived, loved, and served one person for the sake of Jesus! Can you imagine the revolution that would occur if each of us were consumed with loving others in Jesus’ name?  We are beginning a new church-wide focus today on serving and loving the people right around us!  Come join the Servolution and be the Jesus difference in the life of another person.

Pastor Ernie H. Frey

Faith to Fight the Fight

Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses. – 1 Timothy 6:12

We are constantly attempting to manage a multitude of things that are taking place in our lives right now. Just think of a small portion of life factors and forces that are bombarding our spheres of life – the day-to-day busyness of making life work, caring for the needs of the family, and maintaining one’s physical, spiritual, and relational health; difficult circumstances such as making ends meet, surviving a job loss, encountering news of a deteriorating medical situation, and wondering what to do in the midst of fragile relationships; and our daily battle against the forces of sin that constantly seek to undermine our effectiveness. What an array of forces that take a major toil on both our attitudes and actions!

As both a pastor and participant in this journey of life, I have come to two major conclusions in regards to battling the forces we face daily:

#1 – Living life, especially a life sold out to Jesus, is difficult – it doesn’t come easily or naturally.

#2 – Even though life is hard – most of us are not aware that we are in a fight!

How basic these truths are but how true! Life is hard yet we don’t realize that we are in a fight to keep us from fulfilling God’s will in our lives. If the enemy of man’s soul can keep us occupied by distracting us from all the tasks of daily life, then he can keep us from living life more effectively. Like all of us, I struggle with the application of these truths into my life.

Paul, one of the more intentional Christians of all times, reminds us of the reality of the fight that we face in our faith. In light of that fight I would like to remind us that we are in a fight and offer five suggestions of living a life more faithfully to the Lord.

• Acknowledge that you are in a fight. The starting point is recognizing that you are in the fight in the first place.

• Identify the particulars of the fight you are in. What are the particulars of your personal fight? – A particular sin, a relationship, a difficult circumstance and what effect is it having on your life.

• Develop a strategy of engagement. How are you going to attack this problem?

• The fight is easier when you join with others. One of the ways of defeating the enemy is joining with others in relationship and teaming up on life’s problems.

• Choose to enter the fray TODAY! If you don’t make a commitment to do something differently than you will keep repeating what you are already doing.

I am excited about Central Church waking up and taking the fight to life! May God grant us victory in the battle!

Ernie Frey, Ph.D.

Senior Pastor

Recent Trip to Japan

The miso soup at Tokyo’s Narita Airport was excellent and was a delicious foretaste of what was ahead. The mystique of Japan became visible flying from Tokyo to Osaka. On the right side of the plane we caught a glimpse of the peak of Mount Fuji stretching itself majestically through the clouds. Japan is an incredibly beautiful country with incredibly

large cities. Although modern in so many ways, you are reminded of its history through traditional architecture, palaces, religious temples, and shrines. Shinto and various forms of Buddhism are the primary religions in Japan, even though the country is basically secular in everyday life.

As soon as we made our way through immigration and customs, we were greeted by smiling and gracious Christians who drove us to our accommodations. Committed Evangelical Christians probably make up 1% or less of the population of 127,000,000, although statistics vary. Many of these believers attend small churches (less than fifty

people), and right now many of these small churches need pastors. There are some larger churches as well, and earnest ministry is taking place through individual churches and cooperative efforts.

For many years my father and mother were involved in ministry in Japan and strong relationships have been formed.  Because of this a number of key Japanese pastors have come for training at the Stephen Olford Center here in Memphis.  A few years ago Olford Ministries International was asked to start a series of training seminars for pastors in

Japan. The purpose of the trip this year (2009) was to put on the second seminar in the series in a rural area near Osaka and Kyoto (these are cities; not just restaurants!). God blessed us in every way and we praise Him for the training received (by translation) and for commitments made to be faithful preachers of the Word of God. We are preparing for round three next summer, Lord willing.

Our brothers and sisters in Christ in Japan have a tremendous challenge to reach their own nation with the gospel.  Indeed, they need our prayers and encouragement, and these training seminars seek to encourage church leaders in order that they might minister more effectively to bless their own congregations and to reach the lost.  I want to thank Central Church for the prayer support as my daughter Lindsay and I traveled to Japan (with the rest of the team). One of my lasting memories from this trip will be of Lindsay sharing her personal testimony (with Japanese translation) at a well-attended Sunday worship service in Osaka. Priceless! She really did a great job.

Two other memories have to do with prayer: a very meaningful prayer time with pastors at the end of the seminar, and praying with a pastor whose wife recently had surgery (brain tumor), and her situation remains serious.  Prayer is not only our daily conversation with God. It needs to be the passionate practice of a missionary church.  May we grow in our practice of prayer and our passion in prayer. “God is able…” Again, on behalf of all the Olfords, thank you for your prayers for us. Those prayers were part of the mission!

David Olford

Elder at Central Church

Citizens of What Country?

Having traveled outside the United States recently, I had the chance to see once again how third world countries compare to our own. Here are some of my observations:

• Our infrastructure (roads, utilities, etc.) is among the best in the world and affords us great ease, relatively speaking, in accomplishing our daily tasks. It also makes our lives much more comfortable (hot showers when you need them, water, electricity, etc.) than the majority of the world.

• The pace of life in other countries is often much more laid back and much less stressful.  Americans seem to be caught up in constant activity and under great pressure to accomplish things quickly and efficiently. This, of course, works in a fashion to make us very productive, but often at the cost of our mental well-being.

• Relationships seem to be given much more attention in other countries than the United States.  While I was in Africa, it was not uncommon to see men walking hand in hand to express their friendship. We are usually much more uptight about how we express ourselves when we care for someone.

• Women seem to be much more marginalized in cultures outside the United States and Europe.  There seem to be many more restrictions on women and in some ways much more responsibility.  Very little consideration seems to be given to making sure they get a break from the kids or a chance to care for themselves.

• Corruption in government seems to be much more rampant than in the U.S.

• God seems to be doing many more miracles outside of our borders.

• Persecution is much more prevalent outside the U.S.

• The stability of our government vastly outshines the governments of many third world countries.  Peace is not a given in most places.

We have much to be thankful for as Americans. That doesn’t mean we do everything right. God has put us in our country, not so we can gloat over being better than anyone else, but for the purpose of taking the gospel of peace to a dying world. It is appropriate to feel a pride in our country, but as Paul says, “Our citizenship is in heaven” (Philippians 3:20) and “We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors” (2 Corinthians 5:20).

Randall Johnson

Director of Adult Education