(Adapted from an article by Tim Clinton/George Ohlschlager)
From intense mental anguish to acute sorrow and deep remorse, grief is a unique human suffering. It is described as an amputation of the heart, a never-ending pain that reaches to the marrow of one’s soul, a sorrow that leaves no part of the bereaved life untouched. While grieving is unavoidable, healing in and through grief is what a compassionate God intends. As Christians, we must learn how to grieve. The shortest and one of the most powerful verses in the Bible – “Jesus wept.” John 11:35 – reveals that Jesus grieved.
Too many of us, however, hang on to various myths that block the healing process that God intended. Let’s expose some of these myths:
Myth #1: Don’t grieve. An especially harmful belief is that God doesn’t want us to grieve or has saved us so we might avoid grievous suffering. We are led to believe that it’s morbid or even offensive to sorrow in loss or to talk about death. Although few people say it directly, many tend to think that we are to simply let go and move on quickly. This is contrary to our God-given need to express our emotions, and when we fail to do this, it causes further stress.
Myth #2: Grief harms our faith. Another lie is that grieving and working through the loss of a loved one damages our Christian testimony and diminishes our faith. Some falsely believe that they must always be strong or at least look strong. Quite the contrary, sharing with and giving our heartache to the Lord will build a deeper, sweeter, and more intimate relationship with Him. Our weakness becomes His strength (Philippians 4:13). Honest grieving that seeks and leans on God nearly always helps our faith grow as we depend on Him to heal our brokenness.
Myth #3: Always be positive. Another Christian myth is that we should only express joy and positive emotions. However, who better than our Father in heaven knows the anguish of losing a loved one. Jesus, Himself, was prophetically revealed as ‘a man of sorrows and familiar with suffering’ (Isaiah 53:3).
Myth #4: God is absent. At times, some feel they experience God’s silence as it seems heaven’s door is slammed shut during a time of loss. Other individuals report a stronger sense of God’s presence following their loved one’s death. What can this mean? Why does God seem present at one time and absent in another? This clearly reveals that the grieving process – a lamentation of the soul – is as unique and individual as the person experiencing it.
At Central, we offer several support resources available during a time of grief and loss. These include individual counseling, PATH, Growing Seasons, and Celebrate Recovery. We are ready to minister to you, a friend, or a loved one in a time of loss.
Bill Bellican, Director
Pastoral Counseling